By
Magdalene Michael
Being the first Child of a proud teacher in North West Nigeria was a rear privilege and blessed memory I will always cherish even though if I had my way I would have influence some choices you made or stopped you from ruining our lives Dad.
Daddy was kind, loving, adventurous and also a disciplinarian to the core as expected but how I wish he practiced self-discipline and was not self-centered but considered how many of his family members would be affected by some of the careless choices He made. As a child I could not comprehend why Mum was always unhappy, and why they argue a lot with Dad.
Howbeit mother never allowed whatever issues she had with Dad affect the love and affection she has for us her kids. She was indeed a virtuous woman standing in the gap for her family. She sort counsel, reported Dad to elders and did all she could to bring him to the realization of the choices he made but all, to no avail.
Married under the traditional rites and culture, despite the challenges, they both found a common ground and were committed to the family and bringing up the kids in the right way. Mum and Dad both made a decision to bless their union in the church, and had a little reception with family and friends. On that faithful night even when the guest were still around Dad slept out again.
I watched how Mum wept bitterly and poured out her pain this time around to one of Dad’s younger sister Nancy who promised to caution Dad when he returns. Nancy did as promised, Dad promised to change and apologized to his family. Anty Nancy left them after the event as she came from kaduna to celebrate with her brother who was working at that time at Saminaka.
Dad only got worse as he kept his late nights or not sleeping at all at home, he got a promotion and was transferred to Gidan Waya. Mum fell ill, and her baby that’s my younger sister passed on. It wasn’t long Mum’s illness became worse and she went through series of medical examination to ascertain what was wrong with Mum; she was confirmed to have HIV/AIDS and it was already late because her immune system could not handle it any more as it was discovered late. So she died.
Now as a young boy I couldn’t understand my grief, and pain solving the math on why the world could be this cruel to take my tower of strength and cheerleader that has so much confidence in me. Was it okay to ask God why he took my Mum when I needed her the most, or I should be upset and angry at things I know but I can’t control? . We struggled to pass through the grieve and trying time that Mum left without notice or saying goodbye, we had to learn to take care of ourselves and look out for each other.
As fate will have it Dad also fell ill and it was discovered that he has HIV/AIDS that was when he realized how important abstinence was and why casual sex is dangerous. Dad got stickers and fliers on HIV/AIDS and stock it to the refrigerator in the kitchen and also everybody that cared to listen he mentioned one or two things about AIDS to them.
Dad also died of HIV/AIDS. We mourned Dad’s death and were promised heaven and earth by relatives during Dad’s funeral. After the burial everyone left and nobody looked back to remember what they have said and promised. Except for Cate my immediate younger sister that was taken by my Maternal aunt to live with her while, I and Titi were left with my grandpa in the village.
Reality struck us, few days after Dad’s burial I and my younger sister Titi were accused of killing our both parents via witchcraft. Now I couldn’t understand the rationale behind the accusations but they believed that we were both possessed by an evil spirit or in a secrete cult. So the only way we can be free is if a spiritualist declare us normal. So Grandpa took us to a spiritualist to enquire if we are responsible for the deaths…………(To be continued)
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